Wow.... Red flags all over. I would definitly not be comfortable putting my child in that situation, but understanding it is really the only option for a preschoool, I understand the soul searching. We live in a small toen with only 1 preschool. We have chosen not to put DD in, and also not to put her in K here. Unless we move somewhere else before then, she will be 5.5 when she starts, and yet she has already mastered 95% of the end of year skills, at 32 months.... It definitly is hard for DD to find playmates though. However we did join a homeschool co-op that had a preschool group. I thought she might make some friends there, however she was really boared with the kids ages 2-3 so that didn't really work. She got frusterated that they id not understand the ideas she was attempting to explain to them. Here we also have a co-op preschool (not homeschool) just run by mom's. You might see if there is anything like that avilable. Ask our librarian if you haven't already done so. Maybe that is a way to get some more friends for him. Good luck
