Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Insight and Tranquility

I really liked this book because it addresses an area called 'Executive Function' in a usable way. The authors of the book happen to have ADHD and a Learning Disability. They met at one of the US's most 'exclusive' colleges, so we can assume that they are gifted, at least moderately so, as well. Here, we call that '2E' or twice exceptional. I don't think that I am 2E myself, but I loved this book because my 'study skills'/'rear end power'/Executive Function was very weak after breezing through my earlier years of school. So I want to caution you that although the authors think that they are talking about 'how to overcome a disability' when I read the book, I am seeing good, practical advice for Gifties who never learned to study. I found that developing good study habits was a lot of learning to tolerate unpleasant feelings. Yuck! But SO worth it. I volunteered to be the 'Kitchen helper Mom' for my son's school activity this weekend. It's all stuff that I hate doing - BUT - I can't wait to finally met my son's classmates and the other parents, and this is what I have to do to put myself in that place - so I love knowing that I CAN do the work, with grace. Self-Disipline. I guess there must be someone, somewhere who can develop this without feeling emotional pain - but not me! And yet, what a prize! I have found it helpful to surround myself with other people who have the similar intention do develop their own Self-Disipline, because I don't mind suffering as much in a group.
Anyway - I'm not meaning to imply that you are 2E. I just think that each person is unique, and getting to figure out how to get the most out of school and find the balance between our authentic selves and conforming enough to get strokes from the teachers is worth reading about, and that the 2E folks have so much to teach about this.


Exactly Right! I've wanted to help others my whole life because it's fun. I love to be appreciated. Dr. Ruf says that lots of Gifties have an appreciation deficit because they weren't given enough thoughful appreciation as children. This is a relief to me, because I love to be appreciated. Nice to know that this isn't wrong. It still feels like a wrong thing to want - probably because I didn't get much of it as a child, and when I asked for appreciation back then, the Adult response was 'What?' ((embarassed giggle!))

Should you see a psychologist? If you are in any danger, then yes. But it is hard to find the right match. As a young adult I visited several and learned much at times. I also got involved with RC.org which was a great way for me to channel my intensity. I did find that many many people my own age were too interested in self-destructive behavior to be interesting to me. Luckily, in time I found those precious few same-age people, and they introduced me to more of their friends. I happen to be female, and 'attractive' so my struggle to find people to be with had a different slant. Difficult in it's own way, but I always work hard to help my son develop study skills as a child, because I don't expect him to be able to use the same stratagies that I used.

I would reccomend you to spend time with your brother's friends when possible, and look for friends of all ages. As for girlfriends, they do take up a lot of time and energy, so I would suggest that you look for friendship until you are more secure inside yourself - unless something wonderful just randomly occurs.

Welcome Home Dear!
Grinity