ITA.
Except that I'm not sure your toilet training analogy really works. My DD started before she was a year old...because I couldn't bring myself to ignore her when she started signing "potty" right before she peed. She wasn't nighttime trained until she was about 2 1/2, but I don't think that the time she spent prior to that working on that skill was wasted. (But I do agree that for most kids there is no point in starting early. As I said, I only did it because she initiated it, and not because I had an agenda or expectation.)
Well, I don't think your example undermines my (mostly humorous) analogy. I think your example actually supports my point that it's good to work on the child's timetable. I'd say that your daughter was outside the norm on that 3yo average. You have a GT toileter!
But seriously, I think it would have been silly to hold your DD back in toileting when she was telling you that she was ready. You didn't decide she was ready, she did. That's the key. Regardless of whether a child is ahead or behind the curve, I think that's how to deal with learning.
But that's just my opinion. Feel free to laugh and ignore.
