Oh Grinity - I love the idea of letting go, relaxing, being confident in my decisions, sharing my worry with others but...
Hi Jojo,
I don't think I said anything about being confident in one's decisions. It's more a certianty that 'right or wrong' worrying won't help, so I'll train myself not to. You really, really, really are the only being who has any power over where your mind goes. Which is why it's important NOT to stop worrying, just to stop worrying alone.
Of course it's not like you make a decision against worry 'once and for all' - you will have to make the decision to put your mind in a more productive place 'over and over and over' again, as I do when I get any communication from the school. I don't know if it's an exaggeration to say that we have PTSD over our kids schools, but there is at least a grain of truth there. And even so, when you notice your fear return, decide again, 'This is MY life, I choose where to put my thoughts.' Then quickly change the subject.
Now I've got a much higher processing speed than I do working memory, so I think this might be easier for me, but I really do believe that with practice, you will get the hang of it. Pray if it suits you, meditate, journal, walk outside, talk to IRL friends, type here, excersise, have a favorite video with the kids, help others, go to 12 step meeting, or one of Flylady's 27 Fling Boogies or anything at all. Make a list to have on hand of stuff you can do with or without kids that is also nurturing.
You set the emotional tone for the kids, so when you are 'out the window' they may be acting out and harder to deal with. Be the leader, and you will teach them life skills. You Can do it.
As for the times tables, I forget them within 3 weeks whenever I learn too! Has she forgotten them all or just the worst few facts? Try asking her the 2's table and cheering loudly. I think that that sort of learning is like tracing a word with wrinkles in some interesting fabric. The first time to learn it, it stays there until you stop using it, and then the fabric dewrinkles and appears to return to normal, but something invisiblle has changes, so that when you retrace the word, the wrinkes return more quickly and stays a little longer. This cycle continues until one reaches the point were it really sticks, which is why I can go away on vacation and return still able to do my job, even though the talky part of my brain assures me that I will mess it up.
I'm still thinking about your lovely women. Do you always meet as a pack, or sometimes 1 or 1 also? Social groups are tough.
Smiles,
Grinity
