So posting here became my 'Afterworking' that I could do during working hours.
I hear this! Suffice it to say I've managed to read much of what's on this forum and half the articles on Hoagies without stealing any time from my son.
However, this only adds to my stress level and feeling of desperation! I consider myself to be a fairly principled person with a strong work ethic, so all those little things I do to keep myself from going absolutely crazy at work also leaving me feeling guilty, ashamed and, to the extent that I'm afraid of getting caught, paranoid. Consequently, the days when my work load is especially light are always the most stressful and exhausting for me. I come home absolutely drained. It's all just so unhealthy at this point!
I know I need to quit, but due to my work cycle, it will cause far less trouble for my boss and coworkers if I can make it another 4-5 months. I also need to take my time and find something that's going to get me out of this rut. I was running from an excruciatingly boring job when I took my current one, so there's definitely some pattern here that I need to break out of.
