You might ask the teacher to keep track of when during the day the behavioral problems occur. Do they happen randomly throughout the day? Do they happen right after a very energetic activity, such as recess? Some kids have a very hard time transitioning to a quiet activity, like circle time, after a very loud activity. (sensitivity issues). Do they happen within half an hour after eating a snack everyday? That was how we finally figured out our DS had food allergies. Imagine our amazement when we finally correlated his behavior to the fact that he wigged out every day after being fed brightly colored sugar bombs for a snack. (also known as healthy, vitamin C-enriched gummy bears made from corn syrup!!). Ask the teacher to keep a running log of problems with detailed descriptions of the time and behavior. It will help you also to see the frequency and the type of activity that is leading the school to consider such drastic consequences.
I have to tell you a funny story, just to make you smile and feel better. I remember one day, when DS was in kindergarten, receiving a phone call to come and get DS right that moment from the principle's office. He was being "asked to leave" in the middle of the day. I was in a panic about what in the world it could be from. I grabbed my purse and dashed out the door, breaking all speed limits to get to the school. I turned the corner into the school parking lot and saw
all of the kids and all of the teachers outside of the building. I wanted to crawl under my car and hide, I was so embarrassed. I kept thinking absurd thoughts, such as,
"DS, did you take your nuclear warhead to school today?" But I put on my best face and marched past all of the hundreds of kids until I found a teacher outside. She said that DS was in the principle's office and that they were having a fire drill. I waited with baited breath for the accusation that my DS was somehow responsible for the mayhem, but it didn't occur. So I went in and found my very upset little five year old sitting in the principle's office. The principle explained that he had been sent to the office twice for bad behavior and was being sent home. When I asked what he did, the principle explained that there was a substitute teacher that day (clue number one) and that she would go and find out. (wouldn't you think she would do that
before she called me?!!!) The principle came back, rather red in the face, and explained that the offending behavior was that: he had not come in at the end of recess (the substitute had lost hear voice and he had not heard her), he had spilled his glue and had tried to mop it up with a paint brush, and he had called a girl in his class a name while waiting in line. The principle then decided to leave and ask the substitute teacher if it was a bad name that he had used. I leaned over and asked DS what he had called the little girl. He looked up at me with the most confused look and explained that he had been playing with vowel sounds and had switched the vowels around in her name. Needless to say, I was not a happy camper! DS's teacher called me the next day to apologize, but I was so mad!
Lesson to be learned: Find out everything you can about your child's behavior. Make the school documents the behavior. Make sure that if they try to put a label like ADHD on your child that you know whether it is warranted or not. (It may be, but let them jump through a few hoops to show it!). Make sure that they give you and your son all of the evaluations and testing that you and he need to understand this. I personally believe that if the school has to go through so much red tape and testing in order to carefully document advancing a child, then they should have to go through the same degree of careful documentation for proving that there is a problem.
Just my own perspective from having my son in hot water for misuse of vowels.
Note: I just saw your last post about your son's behavior. It sounds a lot like my son before we diagnosed the food allergies. You might want to try reading about it, to see if anythings clicks. This article details a fairly extreme example of the behavioral problems that can arise from food allergies. But wheat, dairy, and corn can sometimes lead to behavioral issues like you describe. We had no idea until we took these items out of DS's diet. His teacher called within a week to say that he was a completely different boy. Just thought I would pass that along in case it helps you or someone out there in the future.
http://www.livingwithout.com/features/vault_corncrazy.html
