I do that time-on/time-off thing with room-cleaning, too, floridamom. Short bursts of work mixed with short "relax" times. It seems to work well with my kids as well.
I like the timer idea--no pressure, just a reminder. Hmmm...Thanks for that!
The other thing we do is have "house rules." Everyone eats a "no thank you bite" of everything, even guests. (One neighbor boy eats stuff over here without complaint that his mom can't even believe!
) But there's no arguing with a shrug and a calm statement of "It's the house rule." Even adults have to follow them. No discussion, no debate. No engagement on the topic whatsoever. Just say "It's the house rule" if they don't hop to it immediately.
It helps if you have some fun or funny house rules, too, so that following the rules isn't so painful. "Everyone must be dressed before coming to the breakfast table" might go better if it's paired with "and they must walk backwards to the table" or something like that.
We also award computer points for good behavior--which is defined as anything that makes DH's and my lives easier. 1 point = 1 minute of computer time, and they don't use the computer unless they spend their points. We don't give points every time they do something good. It's at the whim of the parent, so it's unpredictable. The one exception to this unpredictability is that they get points for speed at getting ready for bed: a point if they've gotten PJs on by 8:05, another if their teeth are flossed and brushed by 8:15, etc. They get "bonus points" if they're done with everything before a certain time, too, so more speed is better for them. Mornings are slow around here, so we don't give points for that, but we could if we wanted to encourage speed.
We try not to remove points, though really lousy behavior has been known to make me mad enough to get out the eraser! But the idea was to make it strictly positive reinforcement.
A side benefit: they actully use the computer LESS! And feel more grateful about using it when they do get on. No more begging and whining to get on. It's genius!
