Hi everyone,
I’m new here. I would love to share my sons story and get help and advice. We are at a very low point now. I’ll try to keep brief, but please bear with me.
My son is 11. He started speaking short sentences at 1. He was very curious, interested in topics above age and profoundly bored with age-appropriate cartoons and music. Wherever we would go, everyone would note how smart he is. Since his dad is in top 1% judged by Mensa, I was certain that the kid is at least quite bright. He started reading English around five, by himself. English is not our native language nor we live in an English speaking country. At the tests for enrolling primary (this don’t involve actual Iq tests here), I was told he had incredible intellectual potential. However, from day one when he started school, bad things started happening. A good example would be that in a first few weeks he got Fs - one time he drew a picture that had swirls in the background and told me that “he wanted to show Van Gogh’s Stars night in a minimalist manner” but got F because he was supposed to cover the whole background. I saw him witter and lose confidence but foolishly told myself that teacher knows what she is doing, that he might need some discipline etc.
But, his progress was way off from expectations. All the time, the focus was on everything that is “bad” and zero encouragement for things he is good at. He never did his English homework and I couldn’t blame him as the curriculum was way bellow his knowledge. I asked if he is dyslexic since he wasn’t progressing in reading - they just said he should study more. I realized that it doesn’t make any sense since he is reading above level in English. That was first 4 years of his education. Another important thing- he has lazy eye and glasses. I am not sure it is fully corrected and have a check up tomorrow.
Anyhow, since starting 5th grade (you could call it middle school) all hell brakes lose as we started figuring out how far behind from peers he is. He acted out at school and they are eager to prove that there is something “wrong with him”. So, we started testing and we trying to figure out what is going on.
I now realize that since starting school he completely switched to talking English at home, and we went along as we miserably failed to realize how bad things are going for him at school. He took WISC iq test under extreme stress, after sub depression diagnosis and in his native language that actually makes up around 30-40% of his vocabulary. He got 100 - performing above average in non-school related areas and below average in everything school related. It’s sad as I am sure that he is quite informed and has huge vocabulary- but not in the language he was tested in.
I am not sure if the results are valid under these conditions. Or he “lost” his brightness. Or I am mom that saw something that isn’t there. He also got admitted into musical school this year, so I guess that at least in that area he is above average.
I suspect educational trauma. We are undergoing more tests, but I am afraid that this third world country will not do much for him…
I am lost. I still believe that he is exceptional child. Maybe 2e. I hate that I put him through hell with this school and I don’t know if switching schools might help as educational system here is horrible as it is.
Thank you in advance for any words of encouragement and advice. Especially if you’ve been through anything similar and can offer some hope and advice how to make him feel better. I hope he’ll start therapy soon, but I have no idea how to act and how to help him.
