My problem is that I have a hard time accepting that I'm not special

You've articulated your root issue.

Brene Brown addresses this in her book "Daring Greatly": "When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose."

Welcome to the human condition. Life is difficult. Nobody is exempt from suffering, and most of our suffering is self-inflicted. You are not unique.

A degree of narcissism is a normative condition in adolescence. You're now seeing yourself with some external reference for the first time, with the knowledge that you alone are responsible for what you become, and it's daunting.

Val's advice is excellent.

Go read the books I shared; you'll find them enlightening. If you're hungering for greatness, the wisdom of a prodigious Roman emperor and a Holocaust survivor who birthed a new field of psychiatry are difficult sources to beat. Volunteer at something you feel is beneath you and humble yourself by serving others. These actions will help you develop clarity around your internal value system. You need a rudder.

Or, if you're a maverick, be a Bill Gates and start your own firm. Nothing is stopping you. I guarantee you'll work harder launching a firm than you ever will as an employee.

How do you know a given choice or path is the "right" one? You don't. Life is stochastic, not deterministic. Weight the probabilities and decide.

Also, go back and re-read Val's post with an open mind. It struck a nerve because it was accurate.

You can do this.

What is to give light must endure burning.