My DS5 is obsessed with all things animal. He knows excruciating detail about a variety of species and their habitats, due to endless research. He has some spectrum-like characteristics because he has DCD/dyspraxia, including hand-flapping when very excited and some sensory issues. However, no one (teachers, school psych, pediatrician, neurologist, SLP) seems to think he has ASD, as he is very good socially with one-on-one interactions with both adults and other kids. Interactions with large groups of kids are not his forte, I think in part due to anxiety. He is in a social skills program for group dynamics and dyspraxia-related issues like difficulty judging personal space. We have a plan for a neuropsych eval at 6 to better delineate his 2e issues for school. I would say I'm only about 95% sure he does not have ASD; I totally understand not being sure with what lens one should view certain behaviors. I may be in the minority view here, but I would argue that if he is happy and thriving you don't need to know right now. If he starts struggling somewhere (school, socially, etc), then it may be the time to start looking for answers. Having the dyspraxia diagnosis HAS been helpful in helping our DS with motor issues, or dealing with school issues like difficulty packing up all his stuff at the end of the day, but those were real out-of-the norm challenges impacting his functioning. If your son's rage to master is a positive experience for him and he is not having trouble getting along in other aspects of his life, I would not go looking for a diagnosis for a "disorder".
