So, we did AoPS math today and he loved it. I tread carefully but he was absolutely fine. This math is the only math I feel I have much control over and it's the one the whole family agrees is at the right level and we're all into. So, I don't want to take it away, I do think that would be worse.

The school math issue is interesting. It is SO SHORT. According to his teacher he whips through it in a 2-3 minutes a day. Then, while the rest of the class finishes (about another 20m or so) he can do something independently.

I just doubt getting rid of that will do much. It hardly seems worth the battle. Unless he is taking it personally and is just mad he doesn't get to do his level of math at school, which may be the issue. He acts insulted.

We had a conference with the teacher about another issue and she used the whole "I saw him make a mistake so I know he still has things to learn in 1st grade math" line. He was adding 18+18 mentally and got distracted and didn't keep track of the 1 he carried. He wrote 26. And this was his own problem he made up and doodled for fun (which was actually written as 18x2). So I find that unfair, of course, but I expect to get push back like that if I try to get rid of the class work.

On the homework... the part we struggle to get him to finish is writing sentences. I think this is the only thing in school he has to work at. It's the only area on grade level. I guess the math is related in his mind because he wants the challenge to be more in math and not in this area? I'm not sure. Maybe it is two separate things or maybe it is really too much work in total.

One thing I'm wondering -- after math in that free 20 min or so a day he is given extra worksheets by the teacher. He likes them so she's trying to do the right thing. I wonder though if she would be open to letting him do his AoPS homework in that time period instead? If not that, maybe he can do his writing homework for school during this time so he doesn't have much homework at night, leaving time to finish his AoPS homework during his regular homework time. For some context the other girl that finishes early plays computer games during this time...

I could also see if I can go to his school and pull him out of math once a week and take him to the library to do his afterschool math. But that might be really hard on me and I'm not sure how positive the teacher would be about it.