Ross Greene's Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (aka, collaborative problem solving, prior to copyright dispute with MGH), which takes a strength-based and win-win approach:
"The Explosive Child"
www.livesinthebalance.orgThis has been a very useful book in our house, too. We bought it when our DS was 5 or 6. First time he saw it, he was excited, "Did you buy me a new chemistry book?"
Oh my goodness -- that is hilarious stemfun!! I love it!!!
Our DS5 is not like your son in this regard, RRD, but I am starting to recognize that I sometimes am! I get so agitated sometimes when rules aren't followed or when things don't go as I think they should, even in rather silly and inconsequential settings. It does give me something to laugh at myself about but it can be a bit annoying for others, I'm sure. There have been times when I have walked away from a situation and have to seriously question why I needed to be so intense.
I think the good side of this tendency is that you can be very passionate about things and, accordingly, can really stand up for things you believe in etc. On the flip side, it can be hard for someone like this to delegate authority on the fear that no one else will possibly do the job right.
I guess the challenge is to teach a passionate and intense person like your son to pick his battles, which is not always easy to do.
