Help them to feel loved, valued, and secure as human beings, without conditions associated with performance or accomplishment, and you will have laid the foundation for them to explore and discover their talents and interests, in their own time.
AEH - these words are such a comfort to me. I've been clinging to some unarticulated version of them in my head, just trying to let DS7 grow into himself. To hear them expressed this way by a professional in the field is a such a relief. Apparently I haven't blown it yet!
LAF,
Your DS7 sounds very, very similar to mine - both as to assessment profile and "ambitions." I can't point to achievements in any traditional way that would make people see his PG-ness, or be more tolerant of his 2e-ness (GAI 178; PSI 94; dysgraphic, stealth dyslexia - maybe; really struggles with social/emotional stuff). He didn't read early. He knows ... stuff ... but he is utterly resistant to showing anybody what he knows or can do. It's some sort of extreme privacy thing for him. I get glimpses when he slips up and corrects me, or blurts out something he "shouldn't" know. But for the most part, he looks like a not very well-behaved and otherwise ordinary second grader.
He doesn't show drive to learn physics or chemistry or math or chess or music or languages or much of anything at all, with one Notable Exception. The Notable Exception changes from time to time, usually lasting a year or two. During the Notable Exception's term - there is nothing else worth learning about at all. Nothing. At all. The rest is a "Stupid Waste of My Valuable Time" (direct quote from DS).
Currently, the notable exception is Magic the Gathering. Outside this not very "showy" arena, DS just looks ordinary and fairly disinterested.
Unless - perhaps - they happened by Channel Fireball Game Center on a Magic the Gathering pre-release weekend and saw him happily chatting with and playing against his randomly selected, almost always adult opponents. Winning, sometimes. And losing with grace and a handshake, too, which would be unimaginable for him in other competitions. It's like he's a different person then.
But - that really won't get me far in any discussions with the school about his profile or whatever. Sometimes I think, "if only it was chess rather than Magic." But that's just me wishing I could make MY life easier by having something I could point to. To show how different he is. So people would say wow and be more tolerant of his largely unsuccessful struggle to fit in.
This is longer than I meant it to be. But I wanted you to know that there are other "no visible signs" kids are out there. I'm sticking with "no visible signs - yet" for a while longer.
Sue
