Can you document all that you're doing to keep him on track and provide this as evidence that he has a disability that requires an IEP? You shouldn't have to let him fail for the school to see that there is a problem.
Maybe provide a log of one week of your life? That has to have some value, I would think.
We do a lot at home with our 12yo who is on an IEP. Without us to explain assignments to him, he wouldn't be able to do them. But once he understand them, he does fine.
And take care of yourself too. You need to be on your game in order to be the best advocate for your kids. Easier said than done, I know...
