My heart goes out to you Tigerle, and to your son. He isn't alone. He's just got to believe that's true. So many of us have been in his shoes. And now we're in yours.

Same here, re traditional team/ball sports, though I love the feeling of working on a team. My solutions: (1) symphonic and marching band, (2) horses. My DH has a fair number of students that sound a bit like your DS. DH teaches guitar, and coaches a few garage bands. That really helps some of them too.

Take care,
Sue