Perhaps it would be as well to consider the emotional intensity and mood swings as items to manage regardless of the question of giftedness. Yes, it makes them easier to understand, but how would having a (probably not very valid) IQ change the way you support her on a day to day basis, if the emotionality gets in the way of major life functions? Being gifted, after all, is not license to throw tantrums!
ITA with aeh
She's also a perfectionist, and I'm worried she will give up easily if I test her now... but I want to know what I'm dealing with. If she's gifted, I understand the emotional intensity, the mood swings, all of it--if she isn't, well maybe we have some other issues that need addressing.
I'd lean toward *not* testing her now, for two reasons. First reason, imo testing for IQ alone isn't likely to shed any light on why she's having mood swings. A comprehensive eval might help with understanding the root cause, but unless you're seeing other signs that there is something going on with your dd, I suspect at 4.5 most referring drs (ped, etc) would tell you that "She's 4". With valid reason
My suggestion re getting to the root of what's up is to start simple - keep a journal of behavior that includes time, date, location, what happened before the mood swing etc. Over a few weeks you might see a pattern that can help you think through - is it sleep, is it loud noises, is it diet, is it situational, is she not happy about not getting something she wants, is she in a new situation etc. Then, if you see something that is concerning - such as, whenever she tries to read she screams - you can investigate what to do re getting to the root cause of what's causing the emotional responses.
Second reason - you have doubts your dd will give the test good attention due to her age. Think through what's going to happen if you get back test results and the results don't tell you anything. You're thinking right now that if she tests gifted that would explain the mood swings. Suppose she doesn't come up with a gifted score. Would you then think the mood swings were caused by something else and seek out an answer? Or would you question the results of the test, thinking yes, she's clearly gifted so the test must be wrong? And what if it's wrong.... or right... does any of that ultimately change the fact that she's having mood swings and you want to deal with them?
Best wishes,
polarbear
