This was so good to read. You've done a good job! I hope the tests go well for your DS. As for feeling like it's cheating: it's not "fair" to have the disabilities, either. I'm all for accommodating to try to make things best for kids.

I remember hearing in some education class--if a child is on fire, you don't refuse to put the fire out because it wouldn't be fair to the other children. Fair is giving children the supports they need to do their best.