I would start by telling her I loved her. I would keep the conversation light and pleasant, and ask her about things you do that show you love her, maybe trail off into things she wishes you might do (or do more of) to show her you love her. The conversation might even be framed with a bit of silliness, "How do I love thee... let me count the ways..." Some kids like hugs, or backrubs, or story time, or going to the mall, or doing crafts together, or going for a snack or treat... any of these usually form a backdrop for pleasant conversation, opportunities to bond and keep in touch with the growing, changing child. You might share that other ways of showing love for our children including guiding, correcting, advocating for, providing for... and a host of other things which kids may tend to discount or take for granted. The idea of talking about "love language" is to find areas of agreement, and build trust and understanding.

You might then explain that frustration is a natural, normal part of life, and help her to identify if that is what she was experiencing. You might brainstorm on things in life that need immediate attention (must be done NOW), and things do not need to be addressed right away, and may even benefit by "putting it on the back burner", "talking it over", or even "sleeping on it". Be sure to role model this in daily life and share out loud when you are stumped and need a "PLAN B", a fresh set of eyes to look at something, and/or are setting something aside with a plan to return to it later. The idea is again to find areas of agreement.

Then you might want to address behavior, especially the point at which the escalation of her behavior crossed the line to being unacceptable. Typical conversation might focus on seeing if she can identify when she is escalating, and catch herself, using self-talk to deescalate rather than lash out at others. This can be done gently, without seeming harsh or punitive. The idea is to gain agreement as to what might have been done differently, and how these ideas will be incorporated when she experiences frustration in the future.

Then you may wish to close with some of her qualities that you especially enjoy, helping her to see that is valued for who she is, not for her accomplishments & achievements.

In general, when delivering feedback, using a "sandwich method" may help keep the tone constructive.

Wishing you all the best in helping your daughter slow down so she can gracefully navigate these speed bumps in life.