In the last few months I have witnessed DD10 getting "stuck" by a problem that she can't work out immediately. Most of the time she will accept help from me, DH, or DD11, but every once in awhile she just freaks out. I posted before that I once had to take the computer away and talk her down like someone ready to jump off a building "It's ok. You don't have to do this. You are finished. Let's move on." Meanwhile she is sobbing that she has to finish it right now!!!!
Yesterday at the library she had a problem that she wouldn't accept help for and then she became louder and louder "I don't get it! It's not making sense!!" I recommended that she just skip it, do the others, and come back later. Then she wailed that she had to finish it NOW!!!! Meanwhile people were staring. I was as quietly gentle as I could be, but it was beginning to bother people. Finally I stated that if it went on we would have to leave the library. Oh boy, then she began loudly hissing that I hated her, this just proved it, and she was NOT leaving the library. I just kept gathering up the books, and we all left. In the parking lot she just broke down and sobbed that I hated her; I embarrassed her (by pulling her out of the library). It was ugly. I almost didn't go to work, but my husband was almost there to pick up the girls.
So, a couple of questions. How does one stop the cycle when a kid gets that ramped up? How does a mom deal with the guilt when child is saying she hates her? This is a theme in our house for DD. My statement back is I am getting her ready to be a grownup (making her do chores, behave, etc). It has nothing to do with love or no love on my part. Perhaps this really got to me yesterday and the last time because DD rarely cries. Oh, and I told her this morning that we were going to discuss this later so maybe you all have some ideas on how to frame that conversation?
