I have heard that parrots are wonderful and fascinating companions that meet all your requirements. I have also heard that due to their intelligence and long lives, they take a serious commitment. But my friend who has one loves him so much.
She also has a turtle (tortoise? - it's a box turtle) that she swears is a great companion, and pretty easy to care for.
Side note: I know you said "dog is out" b/c your wife doesn't like them. But could you tease out what she doesn't like and eliminate that? We weren't really ready for a dog, but a little rescue guy landed on our doorstep, and he has been a godsend to DS7. At the time we got Pup, DS was just a really sad little guy, struggling with who he was and why life seemed so hard for him compared to other kids. DS really started a huge turnaround shortly after we got Pup. I'm sure there were many factors, but the unconditional love from that dog had to help.
Caveats - Pup came to us at almost 2 years old and was already house-trained. He is a mutt and so incredibly healthy, smart and easy to train. He is smaller (16 pounds) - but not yippy or snappy. All these things add up to him making my life net-easier (due to DS7's generally improved self-confidence, happiness and ever-present playmate) rather than net-harder (due to grooming, feeding, cleaning or whatever).
Apologies if this dog stuff is useless. But I have been amazed how well it's turned out for us even though we weren't really ready when we got Pup.
Hope you find your new friend soon!
Sue
