We've got the uber competitive tiger parents in our district as well, and the pressure they put in place quickly oozes throughout the school. These good kids quickly internalize that they must have the numbers, and the activities and the RESUME to get into the TOP SCHOOL or else they will have failed. Even though DS is only in first grade, I see the competitions kicking off. The parents oh-so-casually asking each other what their kid's reading level is, etc. It takes about a nanosecond for the kids to start eyeing each other and realizing they are officially dueling, whether they like it or not.

DS, fortunately, marches to his own beat. DH and I do whatever we can to keep that beat alive. But I see the crush of the competition swallowing up families I thought would never succumb. I hope we can keep our own way, but I don't know. Every activity seems to demand so much time. E.g., I thought he could have little league as a fun outlet. That was until in found out that little league AT THE SECOND GRADE LEVEL in our area requires practice and/or games five days a week, sometimes six. And it is stunning to see how quickly parents come to demand it. "Well - they've got to start early, or they won't be able to make the team in middle school, and then they can't play at all in high school, and blah, blah, blah."

How did we let this happen?

Anyway, Michelle said "The WORLD isn't built for her." I think what I am trying to do with elementary is help DS come to have a deep understanding of this, without having too much anger about it. He has to live in this world, and he needs to know that he's always going to have to use workarounds to get what he needs/deserves. We are out of the box. That's hard. That's also great. What can we do to get past the "hard" stuff and get to the "great" stuff.

We live in Northern California - and it's a double-edged sword. The competitiveness is a nightmare. The outside-the-box resources are a dream. I'm just trying to teach DS to love the resources, and reject the competitiveness and its achievement-based trappings.

I have no idea if I'll succeed, but it seems to me the only way to proceed for my DS's well-being, and maybe many of our other HG/PG kids as well.

Argh - I'm rambling, but this whole topic is top of my brain all the time these days!