HK, I will look into that book. I cringe at the title, too, but the reviews indicate that it's more about the parents than the kid.

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DD was an expert at drawing us into her personal drama at 2-4yo, and while no, she wasn't exactly a sociopath, she WAS doing it to meet her own needs. She was so good at it that it was quite concerning to us that it was coming to dominate her interpersonal style, in fact.

THIS. "Not exactly a sociopath" is accurate...but also very adept at making the adults around him walk on eggshells. His little sister (age 2) has even picked up on it, and knows when he's in a "mood" and will give him a wide berth.

NotSoGifted, it's helpful to hear about your experiences. Luckily, my son is on the tall side so he fits right in, height-wise. And for better or worse, he doesn't seem too into sports (yet). That could change, but we've tried to get him excited about sports and he is usually completely uninterested. But still, I do wonder if being with age-peers would just "fit" better.

Unfortunately, taking him out of K and doing 1st next year probably won't work unless we pay for private school. Our state won't let a kid go to 1st grade unless they're 6/7 years old or have completed a year of K. He'll be 5 this spring.

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I think if you are thinking at a much higher level than your output allows for, kindergarten can be a really frustrating experience. No play, no thinking, lots of drawing and writing.

Yes, I think this is probably a significant factor in what's going on. His school is not a high-performing school (it's also a Title 1 school), so his peers tend to be less well-prepared for school than the kids in his day care were. I'm sure that's frustrating for him, and probably makes it hard to connect with them on some levels. He was flabbergasted during the first week of school when he realized that a good portion of his classmates did not know the alphabet and could not spell their names. We have tried to make friends with another girl at the school who is also 4 and in kindergarten, but she is in a different class so he doesn't see her as often.

Thank you for the input, everyone. There is so much here to chew on, and I feel so much less alone just knowing that others have wrestled with this.