I think the problem is that you are overwhelmed by having him with you 24/7 and having to meet all of his needs all the time, particularly since you have RA and chronic pain.
Yes.
So, you are going to need to figure out a way to get some relief from this stress and get someone to help with him, even if it is minimal, or it sounds like you are going to completely smoosh your physical condition, given your RA/pain/fatigue.
I say this to you with all love in my heart-- truly-- I've been in your shoes.
If you have your son in someone ELSE's care for a few hours each week, sure, it'll be less than ideal. BUT-- is he at risk of death or permanent damage from those few hours? Truly think and answer carefully. I'll wait.
I thought so. Now-- since you will be getting him back in one piece, start making phone calls. This isn't selfish-- you're doing it so that you have enough respite (and energy) to do this for the long haul. I'd TELL HIM THAT.
For starters, you should probably stop reading stories about wonderful, glowing, parents and the joys of homeschooling.
Yes, again! I gave that up cold turkey in about our 6th month-- er, or maybe it was "week"-- of homeschooling, because it was no picnic for me, that's for sure.
Actually, my initial response to your statement was even more harsh than Jon's. It was--
"Laugh-- because they are LYING THROUGH THEIR TEETH, probably because they'd otherwise be crying, because they are writing that blog entry while the older children are doing medical experiments upon the family pets or younger siblings, and the house is in the process of being burned to the ground. Or they are fabulously wealthy and have staff who ACTUALLY attend to their lives because how else do you suppose they have the time to maintain that lovely blog and update it daily about the doings with their twelve homeschooled darlings, hmmm?"Anyway; in all seriousness-- I'd have given a limb for safe respite care.
If you CAN-- you SHOULD.Sadly, the answer to my question was an emphatic "yes, this would be life-threatening," which is how I wound up spending years and years at the end of my own rope. I do
not recommend that.
He still has all of the issues that he had in school but now it's up to me to meet his needs all the time. I hate to admit it, but I am finding myself getting resentful. We are in a very poor/failing/rural school district and my chances for outside help are minimal. I just feel like crying sometimes.
I completely understand-- I wish that I could offer you a gentle hug. I know that it SEEMS as though this is an endless lonely road that you're walking on, with no end-- ever. It does end, though.
Also-- how old is your child??
If he's more than 5-7yo, there's also a HUGE problem with thinking that YOU are completely responsible for
meeting ALL of his needs.With kids at higher LOG, that's simply an impossible thing to begin with, if you see what I mean.
HE needs to take some responsibility for meeting his needs. You aren't his personal slave, you're his parent. Not even a parent can be ALL things to one of these kids-- nor should we try. They're capable of draining you to an empty husk.
Enforce boundaries. That's a hard-won bit of advice that I'm giving you. If you don't, this will eat you alive. Do some things that are
not about meeting his needs-- or about basic survival, for that matter. That might feel selfish, but that in and of itself is a problem-- you are his parent, yes, but
you are still a person with worth of your own, too.Oxygen-mask time.
Put your own on first. 
