Re your dd, are you sure she *isn't* trying?
This.
Trying is not an externally knowable/measurable thing. For 2Es it's very tricky to see sometimes.
We don't talk about trying. We talk about practicing. "Oh, yes, that's hard for you, but with more practice it may become easier." "Let's practice that one a few more times, and then take a break." Trying to take the pressure off the result while noting that some things are hard to learn and simply require practicing.
I will also say that for some kids, some tasks will NOT improve with practice (say, the handwriting of a dysgraphic child)-- and it's really important not to imply that the child is not trying, when they really have tried and are experiencing a sense of defeat and frustration. That's demoralizing.
If a good eval has shown that improvement isn't likely via practice, we look for workarounds: typing instead of writing, drawing using electronic tools vs. by hand.
