I think it's clear that your DD needs some accelerated learning option. So as long as the solution you choose offers her that, I would think it would be fine.
#1A (without the teacher you pay) is a bit iffy to me because it sounds like the teacher is not on board. That constitutes a real problem, I think. The only person who has control over what goes on in the classroom is the teacher. It's good that you have the principal's backing, but in the end, the teacher is really all that matters. If she isn't totally with you, then I don't think I'd pick this option.
#1B (with extra teacher) Now, when you throw in the additional teacher paid for by you, things change a bit. Presumably you then have a lot more say about what happens in the classroom and what your daughter does. If you can make this happen, it sounds like a pretty good option. Expensive, for sure, but a good choice for getting appropriate work for your DD.
#2 I don't think I'd pursue a new school unless there was some benefit to it for now, and I don't see any benefit. You don't have the relationship that you have with school #1, they haven't agreed to a skip or to other accomodations as has #1. I just don't see this as a good option.
#3 I agree that the driving doesn't have to be a bad thing. Obviously do whatever you can to minimize the drive time. Before- and after-school care or a job in the area sounds wise to me so you can avoid rush hour, especially if you can find someone good with GT kids to play with her. Get "books on tape" for the car or sing along to the radio together. Play car games like the "Last Letter Game." It's not necessarily the end of the world to have to drive a little if you think the school is a good place for her.
BUT I do think that any solution has to work for the entire family--you included! If you REALLY hate driving, then that may not be a sacrifice you're willing to make, and that's okay.
So I think you have 2-3 feasible options, depending upon circumstances: #1A (maybe), #1B, and #3. Any of them seem to me to be acceptable, depending upon your family's priorities.
It's good to have options, but it does tend to be difficult to make such big decisions, doesn't it?
Keep talking if you need it! We're happy to help!
