Thanks all - what wonderful support!!!!
After a chat with DH we have decided to give DD a day off every now and then to see if that helps, and we are also going to stump up for private testing. We both feel that as she is not "obviously" gifted that its really hard to communicate her needs to teachers, and even make the best decisions for her. If she gets a fabulously normal label we can persevere in the current environment with her peers. If she is def gifted we have a wonderful gifted drop in program we can use.
He is very worried that going from 2 days a week at kindy to 5 full days at school is too big a jump and wants to gently lead up to it - which in theory I agree with...
DH got the message the other day when I showed him a comparison of her art done at home vs kindy. At home is quite good, at kindy it's scribble, I told him the teachers were shocked she did a normal picture the other day so she's clearly holding back a little there.
