I think after that conversation I would be quite concerned, but I agree that there was reason to maintain a glimmer of hope at the end. Let's look at things 1 at a time.
1. Most kids that enter our school are advanced.
Based on your subsequent post, it sounds like you might disagree with this assessment. If the statement is contrary to fact, why would she say it? It sounds like she is just trying to ease your concerns without having to actually address anything.
2. We don't have any gifted programs.
That can be good or bad. Places with a gifted program (which is usually pointless for the children) often use your child's enrollment in said program as a way to argue that they are already doing everything they can be expected to do to accommodate your child.
3. She is on the younger side so it is not like I can put her with first grader for math. When I mentioned that she has been in multi age classrooms for two years now and used to being around older kids, she said," yeah, but math doesn't happen at the same time for both grades. So scheduling is not easy.
First she states that age is the reason that they cannot put your DD in first grade math. This implies that if your daughter were older they would be able to. Later she switches the reason. That's dishonest, and for me, that's the most troubling of all the things she said. If you can't rely on administrators being honest with you, how can you possibly advocate effectively for your DD?
4. We follow state standards and curriculum so a kid needs to go through all of the curriculum for the grade even if they know some of it.
This begs the question of how a kid who knows the material is expected to do the work. Are they allowed to do a year's worth of work in a month? Do they really need to do ALL the repetition that might be appropriate for someone actually learning the material?
5. If she learns advanced material now, what will she do in higher grades? ( I thought to myself, "yes lady, knowledge is such a finite thing, my child might run out of things to learn. Seriously?) instead I just said that I cannot control the rate at which she learns.
This may be a practical concern. If the school is K-5, perhaps they don't have anyone to teach pre-algebra to a 5th grader. There are times when accommodation is more or less difficult for the school.
6. My kid was advanced in math. We did not do anything and now she is a happy xx( a career that does not require math skills)
Perhaps their daughter lost interest in math because they didn't do anything. This line of reasoning seems to be pervasive: the idea that talented students don't need accommodation, because they will reach some acceptable level of success without it. It's bunk.
7. ... " wow, that is really advanced! We have had one kid like that 20 years ago. Okay, let me talk to the principal and see what I can do."
There's your glimmer of hope. It may be possible to convince the school that something should be done. However, actually implementing something effective is another issue.
Taken as a whole, this conversation would really worry me. I would definitely document everything (especially given the dishonest implications you mentioned). Do you know state policy regarding gifted education? It sounds like you're going to have an up-hill battle here.
