Your story is so similar to ours! I said for years that I couldn't homeschool my (PG/2e) son, because I'd end up killing him. Well, here we are several years later and (1). I haven't killed him; (2). he LOVES being homeschooled; (3). we've been able to address his twice-exceptionality in a positive and constructive way, while supporting and engaging his strengths! Now that he is slowly making his way back into classrooms, it's so nice to see how much help homeschooling has been to give him all of those skills he was lacking before (ahem, executive function), and how ahead he is compared to some of his classmates in his organization, responsibility, and all of those EF functions which were our bane for so long! In fact, we had a parent-teacher conference in which the teacher said, and I quote (because this is burned into my brain as only the parent of a 2e child can understand), "he's been turning in high quality work consistently - I'm so pleased!"
Homeschool for the win!