FWIW, we had a very similar experience with our teacher's BASC rating back in 2nd grade when ds had his first neuropsych eval. We didn't realize he was dysgraphic at that point in time, he was clearly struggling (and failing) in the classroom and he was having panic attacks at home and at school. I didn't realize it then, but now, years later, when ds has finally found his voice, he's very up front with me that he will never forget 2nd grade because it was the worst year of his life. His teacher thought he had ADHD or was cognitively challenged or maybe something else. She complained that he never did any work, that he stared off into space and that he refused to do any work in class. I was worried that there might be bias in her BASC report, so we purposely asked that ds' student teacher also fill out a report (our neuropsych agreed that it was a good idea to have her fill out a survey -she'd been in the classroom full-time all year so she'd had lots of opportunity to observe and get to know ds). Weeeellllll..... after we'd given the reports to each teacher (at the same time)... the classroom teacher told the student teacher not to fill her report out and she later told us that she'd be the only teacher filling out the report because the student teacher didn't have enough experience to fill it out. Ridiculous!
I knew our teacher's report was going to be depressing to read, and it was - even more so than I predicted. I quoted the above responses your ds had because our ds' teacher said the same things about those. The "always" just really got to me. Another one of her rankings I will *never* forget was she reported that he "never washed his hands after using the bathroom"... um.... how the heck did she know that... was she following him into the bathroom? Honestly, he was a 7 year old boy... as his mom I try my best to teach him good hygiene habits but I wasn't following him into the bathroom to check at the time... and... oh gosh, ds never *went* to the bathroom at school because he was afraid of getting lost.
In your shoes, I would talk to the evaluator about your concerns about the teachers' responses. I would *eventually* talk to the teacher, but not until after you have your report from the person doing the eval. Then I'd approach it by saying "the evaluator shared this information with me from the BASC survey you filled out for ds". That's the way I'd go about talking to the teacher and trying to get some real information about what's going on in class without having her know I opened the envelope. Our neuropsych showed us a bunch of ds' teacher's responses directly from her filled-out form in our parent review.
Thank you so much Polarbear. Your thoughts are especially meaningful because our DSs have the same challenges and such a similar profile. Now that I have cooled down, I am able to realize I don't think teacher is meaning to be problematic or malicious - these teachers simply do not understand our type of kids. They ARE complicated. First of all, Ds's teacher has never heard of dyspraxia or developmental coordination disorder. Never. Heard. Of. It. I am not sure if she has ever heard of dysgraphia before either. I also think she doesn't fully appreciate how meaningful these statements in these surveys are and what they mean. For example, My DH said when looking at the scale, "'Sometimes does strange things?' Of course, don't we all? He and his brother were making faces at each other the other morning and laughing hysterically! He is quirky with his creative shocks and stories coming to him. We all do strange things sometimes!" And I had to tell him "no, they mean *strange things,* like abnormal, like think socially abherrant. Not just going off to write and act out a story or making faces with his brother." I only know that because this stuff is quoted and repeated back in the reports and used to support serious diagnoses like auitism, ADHD, and things like ODD.
Part of me wonders, too, if this is some sort of fall-out due to the run-ins I have had with her about the 100 book challenge and the math. I wonder if she is trying to get the message across that my parenting and my mindset on those issues are leading to "behavior problems." The "disobeying" that I know of and that I was contacted about was the book things. The teacher really seemed annoyed that he was bringing in books (she insisted that he only choose from the basket and repeatedly disciplined him for reading his own book until I intervened). She also wants him to stay at a certain level and he really does like to read a level or two above (honestly this kid loves a challenge - it's almost like he NEEDS it to be little harder for him to maintain his interest). Anyway, he is constantly disobeying that rule and I support that disobediance. When I talked to teacher on the phone about it she wanted to tell me all about her "philosophy" and how "this wasn't about reading it was about disobeying." We also have had some run-ins about the math work.
It's not the child you know. You know your ds better than anyone. The way I'd look at this *one* report is that something's not working in his classroom and that there's *something* up - so go forward, see what the teacher has to say when you ask her about what she's said in the report, keep staying on top of what you can re what's up with your ds and just keep moving forward.
That is how I am going to approach it, actually. I am not looking at this as what is "wrong" with my child anymore. With the exception of the adhd issue I already know what's "wrong" with my child. I am approaching the distrubing/extreme statements as "what is going wrong in the school environment and WHAT DO THEY need to do to make this a more inviting supportive environment for my son?" I am going to ask her about each disturbing/distressing statement, find out how accurate it really is and then I am going to say I am very concerned that this isn't a supportive environment for my son and ask "what can the school do to help make this a better place for my son?" ( I got this form an interview with Michael Phelps mom - Michael Phelps apparently has ADHD and his mom was (still is?) a school principal. She said when the school would call her with a litany of complaints about her son, she would respond "so, what are you doing to help him?") I thinkg a change of my perspective is in order. I am lookign at the rating scale as an inventory of where the school is failing my DS NOT where my DS is failing his teacher (and her "philosophy"). I mean, why is DS's teacher "always" letting hm "be choosen last for games." Is he really always being excluded like this? And if so why is she allowing it? We already know he has some special needs like EDS and giftedness and anxiety. Why is he being being routinely excluded like this? What is going on that he "always" breaking the rules"? What rules? perhaps he CAN"T abide by them due to either his physical issues or maybe even his gifttedness (like the book situation). I am turning it around on the school. Because if my child is really that "lost" and excluded and struggling that much to "obey" then something needs to be done and I think at this point it's on the school.
It is really tough to read this type of input on your child - it still upsets me to think about it many years later. I don't know if it will help at all to know this, but that sad little boy that I read about in that depressingly horrible BASC rating so many years ago in 2nd grade is about to go to high school next year - and he's a wonderful kid (no bias lol!). He went through years of struggle in elementary school but he's found himself, he has really gained a ton of maturity and self-awareness over the past two years in particular, and he's made a ton of progress re his challenges. He's motivated, he's happy (usually lol), he has friends, and he's just a very *nice* kid. A teacher who met him today would *never* anticipate that his 2nd grade teacher could have said the things that were said on his BASC.
Hang in there
This really DOES help. SO MUCH. I even gave it to my husband to read.
