Thank you, Pemberley and KADmom. Yes, it's quite distressing actually. And it concerns me to have the input of these type of people/perspectives on such an important evaluation. I am not angry - I really don't think they have mal-intent but it does not change the fact that their prejudices/biases do have a mal-effect - serious consequences. I am submitting the observations made (at least most of them give an objective and clear picture) and I am going to discuss the teacher's basc being invalidated or treated with caution/skeptisism.
Basically, I think it comes down to this. My kid has some labels already and he can't physically write. He has dysgraphia probably DCD. His visual (and apparently auditory) sequencing is in the toilet so he is slow to transition and follow multistep directions. Despite that, he *is* gifted (he does have a pretty high VCI (140's) and very high reasoning - he is in the top 98%ile). And when taught properly he is performing/achieving he can be very ahead in his subjects. He'll even teach himself. So he's already complicated and an outlier in two distinct ways. He already triggers bias with his labels. However, the most problematic may be his creativity. The "creative shocks" make my kid weird. He has movies and stories come to him (particularly when he is bored but if he is engaged he "can hold them off for a bit") and he dictates them to me later. Unfortunately, when the creativity hits him it often seeps out physically - he moves, he paces, he talks to himself, he shakes his head. He will also tune out. If you ask him what he is imagining he can tell you the entire scene. He said he keeps these stories in his head until he can dictate them or type them out (which makes me wonder if they actually interfere with his working memory, etc) (unless he deems them not good enough.) People think it's weird - especially now that he's older. He has always had this. When he was younger than three, he had three imaginary friends he would talk to and play with. He make up elaborate stories of their adventures. This was eventually replaced at about 4 years old with creative shocks. He would act out the creativity with his action figures so again it didn't look as weird then - it was imaginative play. In preschool, he would want to sit and "write" stories all day long.
So, teachers think he's abnormal. Personally, I think he's just creative and quirky. His creative shocks don't really cause any problems (well, they are becoming a distraction to himself and he reports that they do distract him when he is suppose to be doing something else) . On the other hand, they are sort-of handy as when he is waiting for us to finish in restaurant or when we are waiting in line as he entertains himself with them. Just last night we were waiting for seat in restaurant - he didn't need anything to help him wait - he simply worked on one of his stories. They don't hurt anyone. If he is engaged they don't happen as much. And he can tell you exactly what he's doing and why - so it's not like he is seizing or like a tourettes thing. I assume he will eventually internalize this process completely. Even though he seems so weird but I struggle with pathologizing this behavior.
I think of the story of Gillian Lynne:
http://blog.alexmaccaw.com/heres-to-the-misfitsI think of the talk that Elizabeth Gilbert gives on the creative process and how weird some of our most gifted writers creative process can look:
http://www.ted.com/talks/elizabeth_gilbert_on_genius.htmlI think of how Ruth Stone described her creative process (discussed in Gilbert's piece b/c she interviewed her). Stone said when she growing up she would feel and hear a poem coming at her and when she felt it coming she knew she had to "run like hell" to the house to get a paper and pencil. She said if she weren't fast enough at times and she about to miss it, she could sometimes "grab the poem by its tail and she would pull it backwards and then poem would come onto the page perfectly backwards from the last word to the first.
BUT DS looks weird when he is getting creative shocks. No other kid that we know does this. So, maybe this is a pathology? It's certainly not quite normal.
And so, yes, "Not every quirk has to be seen as a problem. Sometimes a quirk is just a quirk - you don't need to pathologize it." And in fact, maybe it is indeed a special gift. But I keep hearing it's not - it's pathology and needs treatment. I don't know what to do and what to think.
I truly hope DS has a fulfilling creative career someday... I so want to see on some talk show someday talking about how weird he looked as a kid and how his parents didn't care - they always believed in him. At least then I will finally know I did the right thing.
