Stpauligirl, please don't think any of the comments here made me feel bad. I value the advice I get from you guys who have btdt. I do have to work on my issues with not being able to speak up in situations like this. Dd also does a lot of observing and that is how she learns best. Her Montessori teacher last year totally got her and my dd blossomed in her preschool. That teacher told us that our dd was a gem and she misses dd the days she is unable to attend school. So I went into this meeting kind of expecting something similar. One difference here is that dd gets a lot of time to interact socially with other kids and her 3 "best" friends who are a year older are neither reading nor doing advanced math.