Lovemydd, I wouldn't worry that you didn't speak up. It's a good thing to speak up in the moment, but if you don't, all isn't lost! Sometimes it's even better to wait a day or so, get input from a spouse or whoever, and then go back to the teacher when you know for sure what you want to say. I've been in quite a few meetings over the years (re my kids) where I was surprised by what the teacher said, and it didn't ever hurt just to think about it for a day or so before bringing up my own thoughts.
I also wouldn't worry too much if my dd wasn't getting anything academic at all out of preschool, but it does sound like your dh wants something more, and it sounds like the school will differentiate based on what you've seen with other children there. Given that, I'd suggest asking for a brief follow-up conference that your dh can attend with you. This is *totally* an ok thing to do - just catch the teacher in person at drop-off or pick-up sometime in the next few days and let her know you'd like a chance to meet with her again; let her know your dh was disappointed he wasn't able to make the first conference, and that you both were surprised at what was reported in the conference vs what you've seen at home and would like to have a chance to discuss it. This doesn't have to be confrontational at all, just a casual request to meet and chat. And I hope your dh will be able to go with you next time - if not, be sure that you have a discussion with your dh beforehand and be clear that if he wants something said, he needs to tell you what he wants communicated ahead of time.
Best wishes,
polarbear
