DS is 6 and has no context for IQ, so we have not shared numbers, nor do I plan to share them... although the range will come up, I'd imagine at some point, especially if we take advantage of some of the DYS programs or other such opportunities.
The second part of this thread hits home for me, for two reasons:
(1) Being way ahead of classmates, I was always a bit confused/frustrated when I was young and DS certainly has that side. (I should say had that side, as our conversations have led him to be more understanding of those differences. For example, just before 2 he would often plead with his age-mates to "stop talking like babies and talk like 2 y.o.s!" This endeared us to other parents.)
Talking about how he learns more quickly, remembers things with little effort, etc. has been our approach and is concrete enough for him to understand.
(2) Although the school has no gifted program, when assessing DS they have been very open with him about his abilities, in ways I would not have been. (For instance, he was told after an out-of -level math assessment in K that he had performed better than all the 3rd graders and all but 4 of the fourth graders. I was upset they'd told him. He took it in stride. Knowing the tests had been to help find a better fit, as he'd been going to 1st for math and that wasn't enough of a challenge, he said something about how now we knew that at least 4th grade was where he needed to be.
I've been struggling with why there Is a stigma in talking about academic ability, especially as I notice my own desire to be discrete and, also, see how the lack of openness contributes to the lack of resources on our area. (How can the district openly discuss the need, if the system doesn't acknowledge outliers?)
Athletics are treated differently --for instance the freshman who goes all-state and is a hero in his community. Or my son, if he'd been able to run faster than all the fourth graders, would it have made me uncomfortable if someone had told him that directly? I'd expect if he could run fast or jump really high, a teacher upon discovering that might say to the whole class, "Watch this! I've never seen a 6 y.o. jump this high! Do it again! Can you go any higher?" If only genuine ability, no matter the area, could excite everyone in such pure ways. But it isn't received that way, and so I am more cautious.
As much as I want teachers to know, I downplay it to everyone else... including him. (Need to find the right balance.) Interestingly, DS' peers perceive his gifts with enthusiasm -- aware of his differences and excited for him in an innocent way. It's the parents' responses to their own children's observations that are more mixed... and that worry me. When I imagine the next few years, I want him to be aware of his intellectual strengths and to develop strength of character to match.
