Same here. I loved going to school because as flawed as it was, it was better than being at home.
What's happened for me, is that I realize that I have completely underestimated my own LOG until, like, yesterday (well maybe a few months ago I came to this realization). I am the poster girl for underachievement, imposter syndrome, and hiding my abilities to blend in (though I did attend an Ivy, I never broke a sweat until I entered college and realized I had no idea how to study). A few weeks ago, I was looking through MY report cards from elementary school and I was shocked to read the comments. (I was looking through them to compare what is going on currently with DS.) In first grade, I recall having the best teacher that I'd ever had. I read her comments which were something along the lines of, "it is a challenge and my pleasure to find ways to meet somewhereonearth's needs. She is flourishing and I look forward to finding new ways to challenge her." I recall kind of shutting down after first grade and now I have evidence regarding WHY I shut down. My first grade teacher was bringing me 2nd grade and 3rd grade work in the class. Every year after that the comments were the same, "bright girl. gets 100% on almost everything but won't try something that she can't master immediately." the teachers stopped bringing me accelerated work. I was only working on grade level.
I became the MASTER of self entertainment all the way through high school. I have notebooks filled with journal entries, letters to friends and various amusements. In high school, like HK, I became the master at cutting class and NEVER got caught at school or home. It was so much fun coming up with reason #256 that I couldn't attend class.
So, on the one hand it is upsetting that my DS regularly refuses to go to school. We are addressing that. On the other hand, at least he finds home a safe place to be - that makes me feel like I'm doing something right.
I have been fortunate that in my professional career, I've had some opportunities to be rewarded for extremely fast and thorough assessment and decision making abilities. (Ex. "That person is screaming at the top of his lungs and is about to attack staff. Go find somewhereonearth! She will figure out quickly what is needed and administer it.") So, I don't have to deal with some of the idiocy that some of you deal with. (Although I have worked in public schools so I am intimately familiar with the slow grinding wheels of incompetence and people who are hired simply because of nepotism.)
