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Instead of replying to each post I'm gonna respond as best I can to what has been posted.

In regards to bullying, I don't *think* she is being bullied but I will keep my eye open to the possibility. Most of what I described happened last year and it was never the same kids and these things only happened a few times. This year she is in a completely new class and only 3 of her former classmates are in this class with her and none of them were really mean to her. The girl that pushed her is actually completely new to the school for this self-contained G&T class so she is definitely somebody I have on my radar to watch out for. I did tell dd that this girl is not allowed to touch her like that and if it happens again she needs to tell the girl to not touch her and then tell the teacher about it. My dd being the quiet kid she is in school, her way of getting back at this girl was to take a really REALLY long time in the bathroom when this girl was in line behind her. I'm actually kinda mortified by her passive aggressiveness in how she handled it.

To clarify, my post is really directed at dd's school situation. She is a completely different kid in school than she is at home. At school her teacher last year said she didn't interact much or engage in the classroom. She had a friend in kindergarten for quite awhile but then dd decided to no longer be her friend b/c the girl was too manipulative and bossy. This friend still desperately wants to be my dd's friend, asks for play dates, always tells her hi, and my dd doesn't want to have anything to do with her. I'm friends with the mom, older dd is friends with the older sibling of this girl and so we do see each other often and dd ignores her. So it's this kinda situation that makes me think my dd is just particular about who she wants as a friend.

She isn't as introverted at home as she is at school. At home she has a neighbor girl she sometimes plays with but the girl is 2 years younger than her. I think it's a friendship of convenience for dd who seems to have control over what and how they play and the girl lets her. Dd seems to prefer to play with her older sister and older kids at home.

I do ask dd a lot of questions about her day, and not just about friends. I'll ask her who she sat with at lunch. What did she play at recess, did she play with anybody? What was the best part of her day? The worst? The funniest? etc... to try to get a feel of how her days go.

Dd is a big daydreamer and likes to be in her own little world and is content to just play by herself the majority of the time. So maybe that is part of it? I also kinda get the feeling that it's her quirkiness and her mature expectations in a friend that are interfering with her ability to make friends. It just makes me sad to see her alone.