Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Not sure what to do next....

Oh Debbie, this all sounds so familiar! And so frustrating.

My advice is to become the squeaky wheel. Stop letting the school call the shots. Don't let them put you off, or they will find a way to keep putting you off. You'll meet in early Feb.; at that meeting, they'll say they will review the situation and meet again in 4 weeks, etc. Suddenly it will be the end of the year and you'll look back and see that NOTHING has been done all year. You need to find a way to make them take you seriously NOW.

I would start with the teacher. Call--or even better, show up after school one day this week and tell her there is a serious problem... tell her DS is complaining at home, every day, and you are worried. If she says, "Well, he's not complaining at school," say But he IS complaining at home, loudly, daily, and therefore we have a problem! Ask if she is willing to informally assess DS to see what level he's at in reading, in math. Does she really know what DS is capable of? Bring in the types of books he is reading at home. Bring in math sheets he's done at home. Bring in articles from the Davidson site. You need to find out her attitude, if she's willing or unwilling to consider doing anything different for DS. Frankly, if she's not willing to support DS working ahead, it's a losing battle no matter what the principal or district says.

After talking to the teacher, call the principal and say you need to meet now, this week, ASAP, because there is a serious problem and you cannot wait 3-4 weeks for the next meeting. If the principal is dragging his feet, ask him who you need to call to set up a meeting with the district superintendent.

I'd also call the district curriculum director and ask his/her advice on what to do with a first grader who desperately needs to be working ahead.

Is there a mandate for gifted ed in your state? What is your district's policy? Is your district part of a larger ISD? If so, what are their policies? Do they have anyone in charge of gifted ed who might be able to give you advice on advocacy? Be sure to know all of that information.

Be sure to take DH with you to any formal meetings. (It stinks to be advocating for your child alone, outnumbered, in a roomful of teachers and administrators shooting down everything you say! Been there, done that... never again.)

After every meeting, follow-up with something written so you have documentation for future meetings. Even if it's an informal meeting with the teacher, the next day send an email (cc'd to the principal) saying, "thanks for meeting with me... as you know, these are our concerns... here's what I heard you saying will be done..." and spell out exactly what was said in the conversation. (I am good at these letters; feel free to send me a PM if you want any input!) If it's a letter/email to the principal, cc it to the superintendent.

Some good phrases to say in meetings when teachers/admin are putting up roadblocks:
How is this in the best interest of my child?
How are you going to accomodate my child's needs?

If you get nothing but roadblocks and you really want to get attention, call the principal and tell him/her that you are keeping DS home from school until these issues are resolved satisfactorily. Follow up with a written statement, cc'd to superiors. That will get attention and action.

If things don't work out at this school, what are your alternatives?

GG