DD definitely preferred the androgyny of childhood to the emergent sexuality of adolescence.
Add in physical asynchrony and the fact that she LOATHES feeling "dumb/slow" and it's really a nasty set of emotional problems.
Add in being a GIRL... and awareness of social inequities like wage disparity, plus sensory issues that make a lot of things "icky" and whoahhhhh... she so DOES NOT want to be a young woman some of the time. Other of the time (Ha-- I'm leaving that one... funny) she likes to wear skirts and cute, girly sweaters, nail polish and eyeshadow. She has no idea what her actual sexual orientation is at this point, and we've done a pretty good job communicating that it is what it is, and that it is up to her to figure it out, and that in any case, she has a LONG time before she needs to "know" what it is.
We've used books, gentle child-led discussions, and matter of fact statements "No, I'm sorry-- but you need to wear a REAL bra, dear..." offered calmly and without a lot of emotion.
One more thought here-- don't underestimate the impact of the loss of control that puberty imposes on a HG+ child. This is the thing that bothers my DD the most, I think-- being unable to say "no" about her body's new needs/changes. You don't get to "choose" when you menstruate, or what you dream about, etc. Bummer, that, speaking as someone with a high need for autonomy.
