Ametrine, while the details of how it was handled may not have been perfect, I think that in general, your principal probably did the right thing. The flag was lowered, which is correct (flags all over the country are lowered). Your DS noticed (not standard kid behavior) and asked why, and the principal told him privately rather than lying or trying to avoid the question. Maybe he could have been more reassuring on the "you're safe" message, but your DS may just have needed to hear that from you, too, no matter how emphatic the principal was about it. There may be some momentary trauma, but there is also the message that at school, they will tell you the truth, even when it's difficult to hear.
In contrast, the sub who decided to bring it up with the second graders it totally out of line.
