Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy is intervention here "helicoptering?" Or not?

Knowing that a contractor did this changes my opinion on what you should do here.

As you noted, the questions were illegal under federal law. As I see it, there are two main problems here:

1. Your DD may be affected negatively because the contractor broke the law.

2. Others may also be harmed. The contractor organization may have already fished for this information with other people.

Personally, I think you need to decide on a course of action and act on it. I recommend writing to the organization sponsoring the internships, with a CC to the University. Ignore the contractor people this woman works for. Let them find out about it when they get unhappy phone calls or emails from whoever pays them.

If I was writing the letter and if this situation is as egregious as it sounds (I don't know all the details...), I'd be firm and not at all apologetic. I would bluntly inform them that their contractor had broken the law (cite it; chapter and verse; cite specific questions your daughter was asked and state that answers were written down. Detail is key here.). Ask if they sanction the contractor's actions and if this is a general approach to hiring. Tell them you expect to be told what they plan to do about it.

I understand that you don't want to be seen as a helicopter parent, but you aren't being a helicopter parent. Someone broke the law (by apparently exploiting the naivté of a child) and you are right to question it. You are probably not the only person who's been affected by this.

This approach puts 100% of the blame on someone else and will therefore be more likely to be resolved quickly in your favor.