1111, how does your son do with transitions/change? Could that be part of his clothes issue or the new carpet at school?
I know DS3 is very similar in some ways. He doesn't handle change well unless we prepare him for it in some way. Getting him to try new things is very hard. I tend to give him plenty of warning ahead of time and plenty of time to adjust to the new 'thing'.
We also do a lot of 'choice a' and 'choice b' for getting him dressed. This started being a must after about 18 months or so. He has toned down his objections lately, but I think that is because he has input and I've learned what he tends to prefer.
As for the perfection part, we are totally with you there. I mean, DS3 has a full fledged meltdown if his banana breaks while he's peeling it. It has to be peeled all of the way down to eat it and it has to be whole. I used to have to put a toothpick in it to keep the broken pieces together to calm him down enough to eat.
