We just agonised over when/how to tell our 11yr old DD that she has Aspergers (only just diagnosed). When we did tell her (using the attributes method recommended by Tony Attwood) she interrupted to ask if she was ill, then if she was German (hello focusing on weird details) and then moved right along to "So can we go shopping now please?" and has not mentioned it since... She knows she has strengths and weaknesses other kids don't, she knows she seems to go see specialists more than other kids. She seems more interested in her dyslexia... It was a big deal to us, particularly DH, and really like nothing at all to her, that will change over time but ideally it will be as DeeDee said - just something she knows about herself, like her eye colour...
