I once read an article by a mother who went the length of volunteering at her kids school wearing the local mom uniform (jeans) and changed in her car before moving on to meetings in her high powered executive job (and the confusion when she didn't have time to change one day -- initially nobody at school recognized her). I thought it was a bit extreme, but then jeans and t-shirts are the uniforms of my profession (and I am definitely not the most fashionable dresser at school).
Analyzing those different environment, being *able* to adapt to them, being aware of the costs and benefits of not doing so, and prepared to deal with the consequences is an important lesson to learn.
And, quite honestly, one I haven't quite mastered. But I have real life experience of the drawbacks of not being *able* to play the game. Or even understand there is a game to play.
See, I would say that the mom in that story has quite a problem, because she's going to extraordinary lengths to protect other people's feelings, at her own expense.
She's trying to control what is ultimately beyond our control, which is other people's feelings. You never know what's going to upset someone. But I suspect people are more likely to be upset if they see her changing in the car than if she showed up at a PTA meeting looking like the professional she is.
It's really not a game that's very healthy to play, IMO. The best way to win is not to play.
