Hello, I am new to these boards. I really need some advice! I apologize for the length of this post.

I have a highly gifted seven-year-old who also has ADHD and Aspergers. He is having a few social problems in school, nothing major, but the school is just suspending him left and right. He is not violent, for instance the last suspension was for an "inappropriate dance". He is psychologically traumatized by the suspensions, but the assistant principal is out to get him--this is not just our opinion, but also the opinion of his psychologist and the independent observer who visited the school for his last evaluation. The observer said the assistant principal was "hostile and militant" towards our son.

We entered the process of formally requesting an IEP, and the principal said that we have no basis for an IEP since our child is so very gifted. We made a plan, which was supposed to include an administrator working with him on a decision tree and a logical consequence such as a loss of a privilege. The psychologist told the administrators that a suspension is only punitive, not corrective for our son, and is emotionally very harmful. After this second meeting, which we left trying to have faith in the school to work with him, he was suspended again. He has the emotional maturity of a four-year old, but this administrator just started this year after years as a middle school teacher, I think she is treating him like a middle schooler because that is what his academic ability is. They don't seem to understand him at all. The principal apparently will back the assistant principal at any cost to our son. He is horribly traumatized after the suspensions and has even had a suicide attempt.

Can someone please talk to me about getting IEPs for emotional reasons even though the child is gifted? We live in NC and I understand that we should be able to get academic accommodations in the IEP as well, he is amazingly advanced in math, ready for algebra, but they are making him do simple additon. He is so frustrated and now doesn't want to go to school at all. I am in knots waiting for the next suspension.

Also, my son attends a charter school, I am very confused about how the IEP process should actually go at a charter school. I don't think the administrators even necessarily know what they are doing.

We are trying to get an attorney but everything has been on hold because of the holidays. Hopefully I will get in touch with someone next week.

Thanks so much in advance!