He got angry with her for using toys for anything other than their intended purpose and just didn't, as she said, "play ball".
That is a red flag for autism spectrum disorders; does he play with toys in a "figurative" way at home?
I think private testing is a really good idea. If money's a problem there is usually a creative way to get funding for private testing. I'd call a specialist and see what they recommend; they are used to conversations about funding. Here there are several pots of county money that can pay for diagnostic work. Easter Seals also sometimes pays for this kind of thing.
DeeDee
