Well,I think I know what you mean here. This sounds a little like my son and daughter. My older dd has always been sweet and sensitive and empathic. Even when she was a baby, I had trouble reading her tear jerker picture books because she would pick up on that catch in my voice no matter how subtle. My son, who is 2 years younger than sis, is always going a million miles a minute. He is very attached and affectionate. He has always been one to body slam me for hugs. He loves to tickle and wrestle. But he doesn't slow down and tune in. I remember once finding an old picture book that my mom used to read to me. She had just gotten sick, and as I was reading it to my then two year old ds, I was sobbing, thinking of my mom. I could barely get through the book. My son didn't even appear to notice.
I do feel very attached to both dc. It is just that they attach differently, and I wonder if that could be the case for your two. My son attaches through humor and wild, boisterous physical play, not quiet cuddles and deep talks. Obviously, my kids follow cultural gender expectations, but both ways of attaching are fully valid. Do you think your older daughter might just have her own unique more playful way of attaching? The book Playful Parenting has a lot about connection through play. Might be worth a look.
