We've run into this same issue with ds12 (dysgraphic, disorder of written expression, expressive language disability related to written expression). I found that the thing that helped me most was to put our goals in perspective - our short-term goals are to ensure ds is able to demonstrate his knowledge via written expression while our long-term goal is to help ds become the best possible writer he can become (and to be able to write at the level he needs to the able to continue to pursue advanced coursework in the areas of his strengths). We're also continually seeking to balance that work with trying to make sure ds doesn't spend a ton more time on his homework than his classmates do due to his writing challenges.
For any writing assignment other than short-answer questions, ds does his best work (and more fully shows his knowledge) through talking it out with another person scribing. When I scribe for him at home I try to do it word-for-word etc exactly as he tells me what he wants to write, but we then go over it - I'll read it back to him or he'll read it out loud, we'll make sure he's said what he wants to say - if he has questions or gets blocked I'll help him brainstorm. Then when he has the gist of what he wants to write completed I go back over it with him to look for ways to better organize or add detail etc. I see that as most likely way more help with writing than most parents are giving their children at the same grade level, but also as very important to ds to enable him to learn how to write - there's no question that his dysgraphia/disorder of written expression make it very important to repeat repeat repeat the concepts that we're going through. Most of what I do with him is repeats of strategies his SLP has developed for him, but he isn't proficient at doing it on his own yet. His SLP says that just like handwriting, he'll need a lot of repetition to develop an automaticity of any kind with respect to written expression. I could leave it be, but ds would be frustrated with his work which leads to anxiety, and we would miss great opportunities for him to learn skills he really needs to learn.
Re will it lead to false expectations from school staff re ds' writing ability, I"m very up front about the support I am providing. I've also shared details re what his SLP has recommended, strategies, etc, so that his teachers understand we're working on real skills, as opposed to me just doing his work or prettying it up for a better grade. His teachers also have an opportunity to see him write in class and work with him on writing in class where he doesn't have me so they have an idea of how challenging writing is for him. Over time, between this approach and having him continue speech/language therapy, his written expression really has improved, so from my perspective, it's better for ds to stick with the outside help than to leave him to struggle on his own.
FWIW, ds is using an iPad in school this year, and he's *really* really started to work more independently with the speech-to-text option on the iPad. He's tried Dragon on his laptop in the past and found it cumbersome so he'd never really used it. Once I had an iPhone I downloaded the free Dragon for grins and found that my dds (younger than ds) could fairly easily record messages without too many mistakes. I found out later on that the online Dragon works so well because it uses such a large database of voices (you dont have to train it to recognize your voice - it works without that). When he got his iPad I made him try Dragon - and sure enough, it worked really well and he liked it, but cut/paste to other docs etc was a bit clunky for him. And then.... with NO help or egging on from me (since I was too busy to even think about it lol!)... ds found the built in voice-to-text option on the iPad keyboard and he's been using that on almost all of his homework, without me nagging or urging him to. So that's my other small piece of advice - there is easier to use voice-to-text technology out there, and I think we'll find it continues to improve at astonishing rates. If you have an iPad you might want to have your dd give it a try.
Best wishes,
polarbear
