I wouldn't worry about not having the diagnosis at this age, if in fact he does have Asperger's. The diagnosis doesn't really do anything for you until you get to school, anyway -- unless you wanted to have counseling before that, and I don't know how much good that might do at such an early age. We didn't have any that early, though it might have been useful, because we denied the possibility until DS was finishing first grade and we finally had to give in and admit to it. I kept saying, "Why does there have to be something *wrong* with him? Why can't he just be a smart kid?" But even when he was 18 months old, I had suspected autism as he ran around in circles, counting to himself, so eventually I had to face it. It's very much worth it for school, to have his IEP to help him with all the social and behavioral stuff along with the ALP to get him the advanced classes he needs. He still suffers from a lot of anger and frustration, at age 9 -- frustration with the body as a toddler turns into frustration with the world after the body catches up, as there are still lots of things he thinks he can do but the world won't let him yet.
But anyway, there are lots of books that might help you in the meantime, though I can't think of any at the moment -- somebody will come along and know the names, I'm sure.
