Aw, I wish that we had a hugs smilie!
My 6th grader is also a peanut. For her, as a girl, I suspect that it isn't quite as hard, but she's had difficulty with her size as well. At the start of the year, one of her friends kept picking her up and swinging her around and then essentially tossing her when she let her go. She got knee-ed in the leg and fell a few times with other kids who were being too rough. Just yesterday, two of the boys thought that it was funny to push down on her backpack as she was walking with this huge backpack full of stuff from cleaning out her locker, which hurt her back and made her fall.
I know that we probably permanently pissed off the mom of the friend @ the start of the year with dh talking to the principal of the school rather than the parents about the bruising dd had sustained, but we can't let her get hurt and we didn't trust the other parents not to make light of it and blame our dd, which is what they did anyway when the school got involved.
It sounds like you've done the same -- dealing with the physical bullying/excessive roughness through the school -- and that it hasn't been enough.
There is just a lot in what you write that resonates with me. My dd11 is also HG, also has ADD, and is also subject accelerated in math. None of your options sound perfect, but isn't that usually the case with kiddos like these?
First, do you have any charter school options and have you explored all of the other public school options? My dd is choiced to a different middle school than our assigned one. It is not a charter, but is one of those funny options where it is not an assigned school for anyone (it is choice only). Due to that, the parent population is pretty involved and there seems to be more oversight although that hasn't fully protected dd from some kids behaving poorly at times as I mentioned.
If you really have no choices but the three you mention, I'd probably rule out the third option b/c it doesn't sound like it would deal effectively with either the ADD or the giftedness. If you could make school #2 work (the private one for kids with LD and ADD), I might consider it but only if they have the ability to significantly accelerate and/or other gifted kids, not just ND kids with LDs.
Is homeschooling off the table? Could you use an online charter to homeschool the rest of middle school with the intent of transitioning back to ps for high school after remediating some of the behavior issues?
