We just went through this two months ago (at 3 years, 2 months). Prior to this, our son refused all bribes, would not even sit on the potty or touch his pants, lest it suggest he might have to pull them down to use the toilet. The trick for us was that his best friend began potty training. And his best friend delighted in eating handfuls of M&Ms in front of our boy after success in the bathroom. We live in a home with very little (if any) candy and I think once candy became a tangible, visible reality, something clicked. So, we bought some M&Ms, put them in a jar in the bathroom and each time my husband and I went to the bathroom, we’d eat M&Ms in front of our son and talk about how delicious they were (a bit cruel perhaps, but we were desperate). Finally, he caved and was willing to sit on the potty. First, with his pants on and then finally (with more M&M rewards) with his pants off.
Once we had him on the potty with his pants off, we sat him in front of the television for what may have been hours. Again, television is something that is always limited here so giving him free reign was tremendous for him. And eventually, he peed in the potty! This was very exciting (more M&Ms).
The next thing that really helped seal the deal is that we invited over a classmate who was potty trained and decided that she wanted to use our son’s potty. This was exciting! And over the next two hours our son proceeded to pee in the potty of his own initiative about 10 times (often, right after his classmate or while urging her to do so on another potty).
So, we were on the right track but then M&Ms stopped working (“I’ve had enough M&M’s, thank you”), so we had to switch our currency. Luckily, we had some Girl Scout cookies in the house that did the trick. I think finding a currency that works really is key, as someone mentioned above. I was convinced my child was impossible to bribe but I was wrong. The final currency that we had to move to was to tell him that once he pooped in the potty (he was very against this idea, even though he was a master of his bowels), we’d let him move up into the loft portion of his bed (we have an Ikea loft bed with a stargazers canopy over it). This was incentive enough and it worked! Interestingly enough, allowing him to sleep up high under the canopy tent has also helped him sleep better. We went from near nightly wakings to wakings only about once a week!
There were accidents and battles of wills along the way but we got there. I’d say that within three weeks to a month, he was fully potty trained (although he still won’t pee at his preschool. He prefers to hold it). During these battle of wills, I would sometimes pick him up and put him on the toilet (while he fought me) and hold him there as soothingly as possible (saying kind words, telling him I loved him and had confidence in him) and eventually he’d let go and pee (but not always). The thing is that I knew he wanted to succeed at this, but was afraid of making mistakes or failing, I think. I also found that toilet seat covers worked wonders (or covering the seat with toilet paper) as it helped assuage his fear that he was going to fall into the toilet.
Good luck! Every kid is different but I hope some of this helps!
