Is it ever appropriate to tell your child that you disagree with the way something is being taught at school?
I don't know that it's appropriate, but I've done it. Particularly for math topics being taught by rote, rather than by reason. (Math is not DD's strong suit, and learning anything by rote even more so.)
She was excited to take a young readers course through CTY, but when we went to register her, she changed her mind and said she doesn't want to do it.
My DD8 (almost 9) has huge fear of chooser's remorse, and would rather choose nothing than make a choice that turns out to be wrong. Giving her the opportunity to make consequence-free choices doesn't help her deal with choices that do have consequences. Explicitly stating that she can doesn't have to stick with her choice helps some - but by totally eliminating the choice (she can both have her cake and eat it), not by helping her deal with the finality of choosing. Plus, those classes are pricey, so I'm unwilling to strongarm her into something that I'm not willing to strongarm her through, you know? (I have not yet mastered an understanding of sunk costs, I know.) Explaining that not-choosing is a choice doesn't appear to help. It's really frustrating.
Same with spelling homework, the teacher let her spell one of the words on the list incorrectly all week.
Yeah, we had that here, too. DD completely blew a spelling test, and when I asked why, one reason was "I copied some words down wrong, and practiced them from the list I'd copied." Sure enough, graded practice list had a teacher-handwriting checkmark right next to the incorrect spellings, same as next to the correct ones.
I also think your dd is at a really really tough stage in life. Most of the girls I know (including my dd10) start to have some attitude changes hit when they hit pre-puberty. That sounds negative, and I don't mean it that way, just can't think of a better way to describe it. I have seen it *big* time in my own dd and in a few other girls I've known really well.
Same here. Because my DD is young compared to her classmates, I don't know how much of her attitude and lack of motivation is peer influence, and how much is pre-puberty, but there is something there.
